Invisible Aching Souls

 

I know it’s hard to live

When others want you to die

But I suppose it’s just as hard to live

Knowing that people don’t believe you

It feels like you’re invisible

Like you’re not even there

Like you will never even be there

Because before you’re even there

You’re already banned from existence 

Because people tell you

It’s not real what you have

It’s fake what you are

You’re delusional

And if I panic and if I throw up it’s just an act

And if I see and hear things that aren’t there

I’m just making things up

And if I can’t sleep and I’m always tired it’s my fault

Until I slit my wrist you still tell me I’m crazy

I’m crazy because you failed to see

Me, that I am here, that I am real

That the blood running from my arm is warm

And it’s not some kind of joke you made me look like

This is my life that you neglected

And there are millions of me feeling this way too

There are millions of swerving invisible aching souls

And you don’t see their pain

Because you don’t even see them

You even condemn their presence

Belittling the struggles of their lives

As if everything was easy

If it were so easy, why do we suffer?

Why do we struggle keeping ourselves well?

Why do we struggle to fulfill the bare minimum?

Why do people keep dying?

Well, it’s because you make us want to

(A tribute to my late best friend, S, who would've turned 26 on this day. Sur, I still look up to the night sky and I still feel that you're smiling down on me. I know you're happier up there now. You're always my hero.)