The River I Made

I was almost thrown into a gorge

Not by anyone else, but by myself

I didn’t know I was walking towards the edge

Until I saw you crying 

With tears flowing like a river under you

I’ve seen that river before

Because I made that river

And lately, the river’s been overflowing

I was somewhat tired of what I saw

Just a river with its water

Over and over again

Until I forgot you

And myself 

For ever creating those rivers

I was so caught up in trying not to fall

I pushed you down on the way

I didn’t recognize you

Or myself anymore

I was a hollow stone

And you were rain

You fall on me

I used to catch you

But it rained so hard

That I broke

I couldn’t catch you anymore

I couldn’t even catch myself

How am I supposed to be everything all at once?

No, no, no

This is love

This is not playing pretend

Nobody was asked to be everything all at once

We just need to be loved by each other

While being ourselves

It was never meant to be easy

Because sometimes it’s not

But also sometimes it is

And that’s love

And that’s you crying on the edge of your seat

Telling me that maybe I’m not good for you

But I was trying my best to love you

As a hollow stone holding your rain

To stay strong when you’re not

And sometimes I’m full of it too

Because I have my own battles to fight

The battles I don’t tell you about

Because I don’t want to bring you down

As I am heavy, and you’re vulnerable

But I still try my best for you

But this is how I show my love to you

Maybe I seemed like I stopped caring

I never did

Because this is love

This is not a disaster

And maybe I was delusional

Because I thought I was walking with you

But apparently you stopped by the river I made

And I was almost thrown into a gorge 

By myself