Speak Up

 

Hey, it’s me again 

It’s apparently been a long time

But things start to hit me again

I notice it because I can’t fall asleep

My mind is circling in thoughts

Or questions I can’t answer about life

I’m caught up with my own issues

My head doesn’t let me rest

But I’m honestly tired

But I shouldn’t be

I haven’t done anything

Not really, at least not physically 

Who do I turn to?

I have so many questions in my head

I want answers

But why do I have to always question?

Why do I complicate things?

Maybe I should just play dumb

It’s easier to be dumb

I’m not super smart either

Just smart enough to question 

But not smart enough yet to know when to stop

Or what the answers are

I just want to be simple

Think nothing

Take things easily

But I guess, I can’t

I just want to rest

Have a peaceful life

I have questions I don’t tell anyone about

I have fears that I sugarcoat

I’m unnecessarily scared

I have many scenarios of my life

Mostly bad ones

On top of that, I have to live with them

I don’t want my thoughts getting dirty

But they somewhat already are

I just can’t hide in the dark anymore

I need to speak up

About the darkness in my head

Ask the questions I need answers to

Life can’t just only be about primary things

Food, money, shelter

Because to me,

My questions are the primary things

Life, death, belief, darkness, light

Enlighten me