I Don't Wanna Be Like You

 (Tilt to the left to see emotional fluctuation)

The tears are welling up

But there’s no word to be said

Except those I’ve said before

A thousand times already

It is still the same pain

The same causes

And it made me wish 

I wish I were never born

I wish I were never put here

In this world where I feel alone

Because as much as you’re there

All these burdens are mine

To carry alone

And there are times

Where I feel like I can

But more times that I say

“I just can’t do this anymore“

Times like now

Where I feel weak

Where I feel mistaken

For always being so strong

Whatever being strong even means

Nobody has ever told me

And I still don’t get why

I was supposed to be one

Because I don’t want to be one

I want to be able to cry

I want to be comforted

I want to complain

I want to be weak

I want to scream

I want to whine

I want to stop

I want to see

I want to go

I want to

I want to…

I want to be…

Me…

Just me…

A weak me…

A me I never was

Because you never

Loved me

The way I should be

The way a kid should be

No, not with money…

No, don’t raise your voice on me…

No, don’t fight the emotions in me…

But you did…

Instead of helping me…

And now it’s over.

The play time’s over.

The childhood’s over.

This is real life now.

This is adulting.

Act like one.

How…?

How?

How!?

How am I supposed to know?

The adults I know scream at me
The adults I know harassed me

The adults I know bullied me

The adults I know just love money

The adults I know kicked and punched me

The adults I know don’t communicate feelings

The adults I know are emotionally unstable

So unstable they project their anger and insecurities on me

And make me feel guilty for solely being myself

The adults I know are shit adults!

So should I be one, too?

So, how?

Tell me how to be a good one

Without being one

You can’t.

Because you don’t even feel like you’re wrong

You don’t even know that you’re wrong

You’re all so deceived and oblivious

You all think you’re so holy

For God’s sake, please

You’re not.

You’re absolutely not!

So poor, a child full of traumas

Who treats a child like that?

Well, apparently you all.

Congratulations!

You’ve all ruined everything

My childhood

My life

Me

Congratulations,

For nothing.