Get Well Soon, Home

 

This time it was a warm winter night

With some cold wind and good deep songs

And a myriad of thoughts

About me, my family, and my relationships

To me, to them, and to the loved one

There’s nothing to complain about them

There’s nothing bad to say about any of them

Except that I’ve missed having a home

A place I can always go to

Like those on Christmas dinners tonight

Eating and laughing with each other

Either genuinely or less genuinely

Because everyone is kind of made to feel something

Their sense of familiarity is being tested

Because everyone is asked to be nice

Because everyone has to feel good

With themselves and with each other 

But at what cost?

Lying and telling themselves lies inside

That they don’t feel good with each other

But they really can’t choose another way

At least not now

Not when they’re expected to laugh and cry

With those people they don’t wanna do them with

And in that sense, I feel alright

I feel good that I’m not there with the fakes

That I’m not sitting around with my bloodline

And pretend we have no problem

While there’s so many untold things in between

The chairs, the silence, the air we’re breathing

In that sense, I feel warm

Being alone or just the two of us

Me and my loved one

Enjoying the sick time

Releasing back the stress to the passing wind

Recovering from the sick environment

The environment not made for us

We’re all striving for something we don’t have

And to me, I’m striving to feel at home

With nowhere to feel like I’m home

Except in the arms of my loved one

And yes, it’s singular

Because there’s only one home to me

That I would always want to go to

And that’s not the one where my blood is to trace

It’s not the one that will match my DNA

It’s with you

My only home

The only one I will always want to come back to

For us both,

Get well soon.