Heaven Up There

 

You settled the battles in my head

Those that I’ve been battling for years

And years now have passed

And I’m yet to find my purpose

I am yet to let myself be freed

From all of these chains that suffocate me

You gave me the key to the lock in my neck

That I failed to open for years

You just suddenly gave me the light

To see further than myself

To see clearer than the sea

You cleared the shadow in my head

By your words, just by your words

Suddenly I remember who I was before

Before all the shits happened

That brought me down

That pulled me under

I was that strong person

I was steadfast

I was true 

But I’m no longer those anymore

I’m no longer who I was before

But I slowly find myself back

In thoughts, in memory

I was somebody I’m not used to be

I was something people look up to

I was something people look forward to

But I joked too much

My value went downhill fast

It’s time to climb the mountain back up

I’ve been playing on its foot for too long now

I need to start living by climbing it now

Because there’s heaven up there

And on the rising tides I see the light

That force of God

In a world with thousand lies

Is it? Is it heaven up there?

You settled the battles in my head

Those that I’ve been battling for years

And years now have passed

And I found it, yes, I found it

It’s heaven up there

And I’m in peace now

I’m no longer fighting for surviving

I am in peace now

There is heaven up there

There is heaven up there

And I’m a selfish man designed to die

Yogyakarta, 30.01.22

P.S. Special thanks to my dad for showing me the light