Stays True

 

Here I land again

When the water is dry

When there’s no more rain

When I don’t wanna cry

Here I am again

Going up and down

Following each other on a chain

Being a freaking clown

Who am I trying to fool now?

Am I even being honest now?

Which part of me is real now?

Am I insane now?

Did I just promise the sincere guy a life

When what I’m craving is to live 

Is the message even gonna arrive

Before he decides to leave

Because I’m questioning my own heart

And what it’s capable of breaking

Not any other straight guy’s heart

No, that I don’t wanna be doing

But am I being honest?

Like very truthfully honest?

Like swear-to-die honest?

My feelings, are they honest?

Or has it only been lust?

And fantasy and curiosity?

Has it always been a must?

To abide and to follow society?

Am I gonna fall to my parents‘ prayers?

In the end being the good woman they hope for?

But if I did, I guess it matters?

Or do I just wanna rebel like before?

But what am I even gonna lose?

If it’s myself again then I won’t even choose

It’s the only one that I have close

The others are out of my force

I guess I’m wounded if it comes to that

It makes me feel sick thinking of that

I guess the honest thing is I don’t like that

But then why I did it like that 

Maybe because he’s unreal to me it’s easier

Like he’s so far away he’s fatamorgana

But how if he really got closer?

Will I still fear him like the other guy?

I guess my mind can wander

But my heart stays true

It feels what it feels don‘t wonder

But I might’ve just never liked you

Not in a bad way

Because you’re so kind so lovely

You make me wanna fly away

But as friends, if you’ll take me?