Reframe Your Thought

 

How beautiful is it to see somebody you love

After sixteen cruel months 

After all those tortures of life

The tortures that made you feel like

You can’t trust anyone but yourself

So you went and move on with your life

But it seems like life only go backwards

When all you wanted was to simply

Make your beloved ones proud of you

Something sweet to tell when you visit them

A pride to the family

To them who helped you to get there

But it seems like life only go backwards

I thought I knew myself

I thought I knew my friends

I thought I knew the world’s big picture

But I actually don’t

I wish I knew that details matter too

Like all those single fights each day I’m alive

But it seems like life only go backwards

Now you finally met your loved ones

You’re being cared for

They’re there for you

But you don’t remember living with more than yourself

Under the same roof

You don’t know what to do with them

Or whether you have to be something for them

They’re a great help

But it seems like life only go backwards

Those flashbacks

Those bad memories

Those nightmares

They haunt me down

Those mistakes

Those goodbyes

They kill you inside

Somehow you became this tough person to satisfy

Somehow you lost joy in what you do

In what you wanted to achieve

You felt like you got it all under control

But it seems like life only go backwards

Splurging money for a bad life

Bringing nothing back to your loved ones

But a mentally ill person

You’re sad that you’re who you are

You don’t know if you’re even lovable

Or whether there’s anyone out there to love you

Without asking for something back

Anything sincere

Anything simply kind

But it seems like life only go backwards

For you

But, wait-

After months and months of recovery

You started getting the essence of who you are

What you really want in life

You got to know yourself more as a human

As a person, a partner, and a friend

It’s something huge!

Something that can be celebrated!

Some people go on studying a subject they don’t like

Some people finish their studies late

Or very early

But what’s so important in knowing the world

Without knowing who you really are inside?

On that sense I am proud

I feel loved and cared for

I’m not just nothingness

I might think I have nothing at the moment

But I actually have so many things in life

I have very caring parents

Very nice and helpful friends

A life that I dreamt of having

And I have myself

I am the key to my own success 

Because by understanding myself

I can understand the world better

At least my own world, if not the entire thing

In that sense I am more than proud of myself

I have the strength, I am worthy

And somehow,

Life isn’t going backwards anymore

It’s only gonna get even better from here onwards

And upwards I go against the stream

Being the person I want myself to be

Reach what I planned to achieve

I went back a little but I’m jumping far ahead

Everything is only the problem of my head

Wanting to be alive or to be dead

Your head is the greatest asset