Lost

I’m lost in this game of silence.

I’ve lost you. 

Lost your game, too.

I’ve lost myself in your memory.

I’m out looking for this body’s owner.

It’s hard on me.

But I imagine you smiling.

Over this matter.

Over that shit that made me stutter.

I wish I had known better.

I thought I was strong, I won’t suffer.

But everyday I feel weaker.

Eaten up.

You did that to me, too.

And… admit it, did it taste good letting me suffer?

Was I a good supper?

I don’t know why I deserve this.

Out of all, I thought I did you well.

Still, I was left by you.

I’m wondering…

Was it me or was it you this time?

Who did it wrong?

Was loving you wrong?

So wrong that it only left me pain?

I’m lost in your game of silence.

Heidelberg, 9/7/21