God… Save Me…
What should all these uneasy things be?
To just exist for balance or to test me?
Is it God screaming “come back to me“?
Or is it hell saying “come to mommy!“?
What shall I react with, what shall I be?
A human so tough, so strong, a wannabe?
Or a human so weak, vulnerable, one to pity?
Isn’t life already a torture enough for me?
One that’s pushed up, down, round-go-merry?
I stayed this far, won’t you congratulate me?
God, oh, God! If you’re there, won’t you hear me?
What’s all this suffering, pain, judging eyes that see?
Am I so sinful to deserve all this you’re giving me?
Don’t you for once want to see me happy?
Let me, please, let me be happy, be happy!
Where did my feelings go? They left me!
Left me full of those of endings of me…
Is this really what I came here to see?
A defeat? A punished bitch of a son so holy…
He, she, they don’t deserve what’s happened to me!
Also not of what’s gonna happen to me…
So, God, oh God! If you’re there, save me!
Erlangen, 4/10/21
Many people ask why they were born in this world. Questions that arise when they feel that life is meaningless. Feeling unworthy because there are too many sins and mistakes, so it seems that God no longer greets us, no longer pays attention to us. In fact, the true love of God is so great. God always pays attention to us to find answers to what role God has given us.
ReplyDeleteEveryone is assigned a different role. For this reason, the challenges and paths of life that everyone goes through are not the same. You may be given the test of a steep winding road and various painful things. Be strong to come out victorious. Don't give up on the journey. Find happiness and confidence that beautiful roads will be found.
Something is presented in the world because it has a function. Marianne Williamson said, "The world is in trouble. Many have prayed. God sent help, God sent you".
Rick Warren quoted: "You were made by God and for God, and until you understand that, life will never make sense".
Rest assured that God really cares for you and loves you. Stay strong in going through all the unpleasant things that you are going through. Luv you very much and always pray for your good.
So beautifully written by you, Dad. Thank you so much for the feedback and the lesson. I love you so much too.
DeleteHow appropriate - a father speaks well of God's love for us, for you.
DeleteGod is described this way -
I am full of love, and compassionate.
Also, God is likened to a loving parent.
Can a mother forget their young, frail child? Can she have no compassion for the child of her very womb? Even if she forgets, I will not forget you.
God loves you, and His plan to bring this good world back to Himself was not complete without you, alive. I am praying and always have been that you find life abundant in a God and Savior who not only cherishes you but already, presently and since before you were born, Loves you.
You teach me love and warm my heart, dear friend. I am with you through this, rooting for you!
God is there, and He will save you. He will help you find yourself again, among beautiful things, and that you think that you're beautiful too. He will help you figure out your heart and mind too, and I hope you learn how to be kind to yourself, how to embrace the journey you are on. I hope you learn how to be proud of where you are even if it isn't exactly where you want to be. And I hope you learn to fall in love with the process.
ReplyDeleteAt the end of the day, I hope you find what you're looking out there, and you'll fall in love with your life again :-)
Thank you so much for the nice comment. I'll tell myself that all the time so I can plant it inside my heart and always remember it:)
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