Cure

It feels weird, if you ask me

I was on the gate but I’m unable to get it

Not that I don’t want to or that I’m not enough 

I chose to not get in whilst I’m taking care of me

Then I’m looking at these people passing by

Seems like life’s in their favor 

When’s my turn for that?

Did I blow my chances up?

Is it right what I’m doing?

Am I just lazy or do I need it?

I’m always in dilemma

Among those able ones I feel able too

Or is it my ego trying to prevail 

I’m too used to pretending to be strong

It is strong to say I’m weak as well

So there you have it, I’m weak right now

Yeah, can‘t even get my head to focus on one thing

Or to cope with my days alone

I need a good time out

Maybe also one for good

But it’s not me saying I’m done

It’s me saying well done

To myself to my future self

I am gonna come back stronger 

Or not, who knows

Just like life, I’m no master of the dynamics

One day I’m well and the next I wanna die

What can guess the color I wanna dye?

Not anymore

But that’s my current power now

The insecurities the unsureness

We’ll see where I’m gonna cruise

Maybe back here maybe back home

I’m open to new adventures 

I’m not a failure

I’m a success I’m my own cure

Erlangen, 5/11/21